Being Yourself… Can you do this in your Relationships?…

We are coming to the end of 2019 and it is natural to look back and review what has happened over the year and how things have changed, look at achievements or see where you can do better next time… It is natural to review who has been important to you, has caused you to face something or has supported you in some way, natural to want to take time to remember and reconnect with those you may not have seen much but still feel are part of your life. What a special time of year this is! In doing all of this, you are actually reviewing your Relationship Energies as I wrote about last time… the energy between you and your life.

Becoming Whole…Stepping into Your Own Power This is where I started this year, writing about feeling whole and complete, a feeling that I had arrived in my life rather than flowing along juggling circumstances… “Here I am! Loving Life!!”. As your Relationship Chi evolves, you are on a Journey towards having that feeling with a Group… such as friendships and family… “Here WE are!! Loving Life!!!!”. The Journey can however bring its own challenges because as you become more of your Chi Self (your Truth), your Relationship Chi (“the Dynamic of Us and We”) also becomes clearer and you begin to isolate disruptive energies. You become aware of hotspots in your life that cause you stress but in facing them, you will begin to relate to them in a way that resolves rather than perpetuates.

Being Yourself… in Relationships? As you progress further with your Relationship Chi, you may become aware that you are not always able to Be Yourself in certain situations or with certain people. You behave in a way that begins to feel uncomfortable or just raises questions in your Mind… “This again?” “How can I do this differently?” “What would work better for me and them/it?” “Do I really want this in my life? Or something else? What else?”… You begin to feel you have a Choice and an influence over your Life… you begin to feel ‘Alive‘, which I wrote about back in Feb 2016… that feeling of being Present and really engaged and enthused with what you are doing and who you are. As your Relationship Chi evolves, your Chi Self continues to evolve too and your Life begins to become something to get excited about and seems to have more colour and vibrancy.

Belonging… As your Relationship Energy heals, you may become aware of feeling lonely, feeling that your Life does not really nurture you, that your Needs are not being supported. Remember that how you are relating to the World is changing and updating to be more in tune with who you are. This will eventually bring a feeling of Belonging, true Belonging, where you feel at Home’ in your Life, it has Value and truly caring people around you. As I wrote back in May 2018 “you are part of a beautiful orchestral World where we each have a place”… Wishing you All a Wonder-full Festive Season and an Empowering Loving New Year <3

Being Yourself…

In concluding my Series last month on Being Whole, I have felt a bit unclear about what was next for me. I have reached the Goal I set myself when I first started writing this page back in 2011, the Goal that for me was THE destination of my Journey… that feeling of completeness and grounding within… that feeling that you will intuitively know the answers when needing to make decisions and will have inner clarity in every moment ?!… But instead I have felt a bit overwhelmed, not really with confusion or uncertainty but more a feeling that I am on the edge of great excitement, that sort of excitement that you cannot hold in and you have to share with everyone and everything!! 🙂

Stepping into Your Own Power “Empowering the Inner You” has been my tag line all along because from my experience of working with Reiki and Kinesiology, I saw the healing process was actually holistic self-development, where you face the energy of any problem, see your vulnerability and then transform it into a strength, gradually resolving disempowering patterns that keep you limited in your thinking, in your behaviour and subsequently limited in life.
So step by step you are stepping into a more empowered version of who you are until you are Whole but how do I explain this feeling of rising excitement within….

Chi… your Vital Energy, Your own Personal Power
Chi or Ki is the circulating life energy that in Chinese philosophy is thought to be inherent in all things. It is the energy of Rei-Ki, the energy of the Universe facilitating all life, a healing force in nature. I have taken Reiki for granted since my original training back in 2002 and my knowledge was experiential rather than a full understanding of what it actually was and have not really questioned it until now. Also back in July 2015, I wrote about ‘Empowering the Human Heart‘ and the ‘9 Virtues’ discussed amongst Philosophers that are the “essential qualities of the awakened heart” such as Authenticity and Mercy, not considered achievements to be attained or practised but are our natural state when we embody our innate Self… In recent weeks, this is all starting to make a bit more sense and I get the feeling that Chi is an energy that has no thought, no effort, just is. It is our own individual power. It is who we are. From this energy, we create. So you do not really experience your Chi energy, you are Chi energy, no thought, no effort, just are. Any activity from this state does not really feel like an activity that you are doing, it is more like you are flowing… in your own unique way… no longer stepping through vulnerabilities, facing and resolving but flowing confidently and easily with all the things you love… As I said last time… press Life’s Play button… set this as your Goal… to Enjoy the Flow… to Love your Life! 🙂

Your Journey to Being Whole… Attuning Your Life

Last time, I wrote about the Inner Work and how this coincides with the feeling that you wish to connect more deeply or authentically with the World, you wish to grow as a person and want a meaningful Life with real meaningful Relationships… this is You wanting to be You in your Life. I asked “Do Inner and Outer Agree?” and this relates to Attuning Your Inner and Outer Relationships. Life may have seemed ok but some relationships may have turned out to be unreliable, superficial, and/or unsupportive when life challenged you; some also may seem to have run their course and one day you realise they are no longer there or may start to conflict with other parts of your life… When Life gets Real, who will stand by you? Who will always be there? Who will actively support you? Who will grow with you? Who will judge you, ignore you, walk away…? Who is causing conflict in other areas of your life?… How do you decide what to do with all this?

Empowering your Life The more harmonious your Life, the more enjoyable and health-giving it will be. Harmony comes from attuning all aspects of your Life, your Inner World, Outer World and both together; in energy terms, empowering relationships form between existing relationships. With this comes a feeling of intimacy, of being part of something bigger than just you, a deeper and more expansive feeling of connection and truth.

Relationships have varying levels of intimacy and part of understanding about Relationship Attunement is realising you will have your own unique blend that empowers you and your Life; a unique blend of acquaintances, friends, family and more intimate partners and/or spouse… and also activities such as work, hobbies, passions, ideologies… and as I write this… the blend probably also includes the challenges you need to become Whole, become You in your Life! 🙂 …sooo much to attune, so much to learn, so how?…

Face your Life with Honesty The fastest most direct route to Wholeness is to be as honest with yourself as possible about how you feel in every moment. This is Mindfulness. This is being Authentic. This is You being You. You may not always understand how you feel or why but acknowledging it empowers your Self-Awareness. We cannot process our Whole Energy all at once because we have grown and adapted over time and generations and have built up ways of coping, ways of tolerating or avoiding difficult feelings and situations so that we can continue living our lives, ways that are disrupting the clarity of the deeper levels of attunement. We can only base our decisions and shape our lives on what we know and understand but being aware that you need to learn more, to become more of who you are rather than what the world says you are, is another huge shift in Intention. Be aware of that inner feeling of anxiety… Intend to resolve it… Follow your intuition… Learn, Attune and Heal…
Why live a life that is not yours?

… Previous in this Series ‘Your Journey to Being Whole…’

 >  Introduction

 >  Realisation

 >  Intention – Non-Judgement

 >  Intention – Non-Interference  

 >  Intention – Empowering Relationships

 >  The Healing Journey

 >  The Inner Work

Interested in support for your Journey? In association with the South Gloucestershire Wellbeing College , there is a FREE local Monthly Group ‘Your Healing Space’, which introduces and supports your first steps to Wholeness.  So if you are interested in holistic support for your Journey,  click links to find out more 🙂

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Being at One… Will that Solve All your Problems??…

Last month I talked about being Centred and that this is key to life becoming more enjoyable and easier; inspiring synchronicities occur without any apparent effort on your part… you begin to become more in tune with your surroundings and, rather than being overwhelmed with stress and chasing or running from certain situations or life in general, you begin to respond rather than react… stress drops away… that elusive Christmas present jumps out at you! This feeling of Flowing with Life is called ‘Being at One’.

‘Being at One’…
When you develop who you are, whatever skill you choose to learn, you go through a process of ‘paddling against the current’… learning new information which may conflict with what you know or have experienced already but once you are able to put it into a form you understand, you stop falling off the wave so much, your confidence increases and you ‘learn to balance’, be Centred, and go with the flow more… when you start to enjoy the ride, you will have Become ONE with the Ocean… 🙂
The extent to which your Life Flows will depend on how much of your Whole Energy Being is involved. This feeling of Flow, of ONE-ness, may be momentary. As you develop more of your Being, you may need to repeat this process many times but gradually the Flow remains for longer and becomes more resilient; Life’s ups and downs show you where you are still paddling, or learning to balance… Some of you may still need to ask “Where is the Ocean?”, “What kind of board suits me?”, “Am I using someone else’s board?… I really want my own!”…
‘Being at One’… Is that the Answer to Everything? As usual, there is always further learning and understanding… Having attained ONE-ness, your Life starts to flow but this may not bring you peace and fulfillment?! ONE-ness can be experienced in two ways…
SURRENDER to the Flow or SHAPE it?  In the Past, there was a common accepted culturally-led life path: how relationships played out, when we got married, how many children, getting a job or career for life, how you worship, what was expected and acceptable behaviour… we had surrendered into the norm, the ONE-ness of our Societies. What has happened in recent times is that there is a realisation that we can actually SHAPE our lives; we can walk our own path… just being part of the flow is not enough… We are still learning how we do that and still have a coherent society, a coherent harmonious World. The weight of water in our inherited waves is huge and becoming not only ONE with the Ocean but actually working with it harmoniously and joyously seems a mammoth task… but it is possible! Holistic Self-Development supports and guides this Journey – your Whole Being is part of the process… We can all not only learn to ride the wave but also eventually Carve our own Way through the Tube!!

Let’s Dooooo This! 😀

“How do you Feel?” or “What State are you in?”

The Summer is here and, with this lovely weather, we all generally feel that much brighter and enthusiastic about our lives but how great it would be to feel like this all year round? Our eating habits tend to adapt to the Season and so do our socialising activities and aspirations. The diagram shows simplified States of Being and each may occur separately and you may even recognise that you use all of them throughout your day sometimes. Note that none of these States are right or wrong but they give you an insight into what your Being is experiencing, which may help you understand yourself better and more easily decide how to respond.

States of Being - YHS Aug 2013


The general system shown in the diagram is that the Body eats FOOD, processes it (for energy, repair, protection, maintenance, growth) and then we EXPRESS ourselves by our appearance, behaviour, ideas, needs and wishes. We tend to think of FOOD as a physical substance but there is also emotional FOOD, spiritual FOOD and mental FOOD which affects how you (your Body) feels, reacts and responds. There may also be other FOOD, which seems irrational and may be overwhelming, such as cravings and addictions. How you express yourself is dependent on how you manage ALL your FOOD, which is a very simple statement for such a huge topic but perfectly describes the process of you BE-ing. Your Body needs physical FOOD to function but it also has to process ALL the other types of FOOD to make sense of its surroundings and how you feel; the Mind organises all this information and comes up with possible responses and necessary actions while also taking into account your inner aspirations and Self-identity. We will all have experienced these States…

MANAGED STATE – You eat a nutritious varied tasty diet, your needs are met and you manage your life well. Any cravings do not cause you problems with your health; they do however indicate areas of your life which you may still like to explore eg. craving new challenges or more family time. Any on-going health issues may be linked to these cravings too.

DEPLETED STATE – If you are feeling depleted, there is too much FOOD for you to process and this is very individual to you. Addressing your diet (physical FOOD) is a start but may not be the whole answer; the other types of FOOD will need to be reviewed and a way forward found.

INTUITIVE STATE – As you grow in yourself, your innate ability to manage FOOD from ALL sources improves; you will begin to select FOOD intuitively rather than by a set of rules:- nutritious physical FOOD; supportive family and friends; a fulfilling career and social interests (emotional, mental and spiritual FOOD).

It is possible for everyone to become Intuitive, keep exploring Life and you will find Yourself 🙂